Chapter 75: Love Is Possession
Their lips and tongues intertwined, a deep embrace. Yan Xuerui’s lips ached from his kisses, and gasping for breath, she tried to pull away, but Gu Yan held her firmly, making her yield to everything he offered.
“Gu—Gu Yan!”
Yan Xuerui cried out in pain, wrapping her arms around his neck and biting down hard. The metallic taste of blood filled her mouth. Gu Yan’s breathing grew heavy. His hand slid down her thigh, pressing forward instead of retreating. They were like a pair of mandarin ducks, their necks entwined. By the time it was over, Yan Xuerui had melted into a soft puddle, lying breathless against him.
She licked the crimson blood from the corner of her lips and said hoarsely, “You hurt me.”
Like a haughty kitten, she glared at him. Gu Yan gently stroked her back, reminding her, “That’s my blood.”
Looking back, aside from their initial clumsiness when he had made her bleed, over the past decade or so, she had never held back—biting, scratching, and clawing him without mercy.
Yan Xuerui widened her beautiful eyes, giving him a seductive glare. “That’s because you hurt me first. Got a problem with that?”
Gu Yan chuckled softly, his thumb brushing the wound at the corner of his lips as he lazily replied, “I concede. Whatever Rui’er gives me, I cherish.”
Trained in martial arts since childhood, he had sustained countless wounds, big and small—this minor scratch meant nothing to him. He loved her ferocity, the way her dark, bright eyes sparkled and her long eyelashes fluttered, making his heart tingle with delight.
They did nothing else. Gu Yan held her loosely, stealing a rare moment of leisure, utterly content.
After a while, Yan Xuerui calmed the agitation in her heart. Her fingertips traced his chest as she broached serious matters.
“You never tell me anything.”
She complained, “I worry every single day. Do you know how that feels? It was the same during the last imperial exams. You brute—how long will you make me worry this time?”
Gu Yan sighed helplessly. “Rui’er, it’s for your own good—”
“If it were for my own good, you wouldn’t hide things from me.”
Yan Xuerui spoke with conviction. “Now I’m completely in the dark, stuck waiting at home for news. How is that good?”
It wasn’t enough. Far from enough.
In the princess’s manor, Princess Changle was the absolute ruler. She governed effectively, emulating Gu Yan’s methods of balancing kindness and severity, running the household securely and orderly.
But outside the manor, in the eyes of the emperor or even the crown prince, this princess held little weight. The matter with Lord Lu had served as a wake-up call for Yan Xuerui—back then, she had been powerless.
Now, even as a princess, she remained powerless.
Even when something happened to Ming Lan, the best and fastest solution she could think of was to seek out Gu Yan.
She pressed her face against Gu Yan’s chest and whispered, “My lord, you’re all I have.”
Her tone was full of deep reliance and unease. Though he knew she was being coquettish, Gu Yan couldn’t help but fall for it.
“Don’t be afraid.”
He gently stroked her back, his tone tender but his words utterly arrogant. “Just wait a little longer. After the New Year, alright?”
“Don’t panic. Hang in there a little longer. Haven’t I given you everything you’ve ever wanted?”
Yan Xuerui’s heart leaped, and her breathing grew suddenly rapid.
Though Gu Yan hadn’t explicitly said it, her sharp intuition told her that he meant to make his move after the New Year.
Was there some special meaning to waiting until after the New Year?
As for what she wanted…
Yan Xuerui remembered returning to the marquis’s manor the day after she brought up divorce. She had asked Gu Yan to support her and her son’s rise to power, and he had questioned her—on what grounds?
He had said, “A few words are far from enough to make me go out on a limb for you.”
She had been wondering how to win him over, but it turned out this man had already planned everything and had been stringing her along.
Yan Xuerui propped herself up on her arms to look at him. Her hairpins had come loose during their earlier struggle, and her dark, silky hair cascaded over his chest, carrying a faint fragrance.
“Gu Yan, are you serious?”
Gu Yan lifted his eyelids, his large hand roaming and stroking her waist and hips through the thin fabric of her clothes.
“What do you think?”
Gu Yan’s grip tightened. Although Yan Xuerui’s mention of divorce had once enraged him, he couldn’t deny that she was clever as ice and snow. This way, their Young Slave would rightfully enter the royal lineage, bringing him many advantages.
Yan Xuerui allowed his intimate touches, clamping her knees around his waist. “In that case, we’re truly united as husband and wife. You can’t hide things from me anymore.”
“Don’t underestimate women. Who knows—I might even be able to help you.”
Gu Yan chuckled dismissively, not taking her words seriously at the time.
“Just focus on taking good care of the little one. That’s enough.”
Thinking of Young Slave, who ate and slept his days away in the manor, a warm feeling flowed through Yan Xuerui’s heart, and her tone unconsciously softened.
“He’s doing wonderfully. When he’s asleep, he’s so well-behaved—his little belly rising and falling, just like a puppy.”
Then she remembered her eldest son, whose fate was still unknown, and let out a soft sigh.
Though Gu Yan had assured her that Ming Lan was safe, a mother’s worry travels a thousand miles with her child. Her heart remained unsettled.
She had to find out something.
…
Yan Xuerui’s slender, snake-like waist wrapped around Gu Yan. After nearly twenty years of marriage, even the most exquisite delicacies could grow tiresome if eaten every day.
Now, their brief separation made their reunion feel like a new marriage. She seemed like a different person. Before, whenever he touched her, her body would tremble. Though they were rightfully husband and wife, it always felt as though he were forcing her into something illicit. Now, she was all charm and allure atop him, as if she wanted to drain him of his very essence.
Of course, Gu Yan chose to offer it generously.
Yan Xuerui returned on unsteady legs, her body exhausted. Just as Bi He was about to help her inside to rest, a servant announced that Lord Su requested an audience.
Su Huaimo.
Yan Xuerui rubbed her forehead. Her trip to the marquis’s manor had allowed her to pry some information out of Gu Yan.
For instance, the daughter-in-law she hadn’t yet met was actually a princess of the Western Rong Kingdom. Ming Lan’s journey to the northwest was partly to secretly assist his future father-in-law.
Once A Yina’s father became the king of Western Rong, he would reciprocate by supporting the Gu family, forging a marital alliance between the two dynasties. From then on, the border would know no more war, and the people would live in peace and prosperity.
The woman Ming Lan had chosen must be an exceptional girl.
With her daughter-in-law finally settled, Yan Xuerui’s thoughts immediately turned to Ming Wei. Su Huaimo’s character and talent were more than satisfactory in the eyes of a mother-in-law.
She went to the front hall to receive Su Huaimo. It was now early autumn, transitioning from summer. Yan Xuerui wore a magnificent, flowing rosy dress, its collar, cuffs, and hem embroidered with golden thread in patterns of blooming petals. The wide skirt swayed with her steps, shimmering with a radiant, luxurious glow.
Su Huaimo’s eyelids twitched, and he quickly lowered his head, his posture respectful and courteous.
“This humble official greets Your Highness Princess Changle. May Your Highness be well.”
Su Huaimo’s gaze remained fixed on the ground, as if he could stare a hole through it, not daring to look at Yan Xuerui’s face.
After Yan Xuerui’s public scene in the main hall and the widely discussed “memorial” from Gu Yan, whether people had seen her or not, everyone knew that Princess Changle was stunningly beautiful, with peerless beauty.
Su Huaimo had once seen her at Egret Mountain Academy. She was indeed beautiful, her jade-smooth face without a wrinkle. Standing next to Weiwei, she looked more like an older sister than a mother.
But she was different back then. Su Huaimo remembered that the Marchioness of Jingyuan he had seen was slim and delicate, her face pale, surrounded by a crowd as if a gust of wind could blow her over.
Now... her figure was still graceful, but her complexion had improved significantly, fair and rosy-cheeked, especially at the corners of her eyes, which carried a hint of springtime radiance. Su Huaimo secretly wondered if his future mother-in-law had taken a lover to appear so radiant.
Of course, he didn’t dare say it aloud.
After paying his respects to Princess Changle, Su Huaimo spoke concisely, “Regarding the matter of the eldest young master, your humble servant is already aware. Among those His Majesty sent to the northwest is a relative of mine. They will do everything possible to bring back the eldest young master safely.”
With her father and mother divorced and her eldest brother’s fate unknown, Gu Mingwei was extremely worried. In her anxiety, she turned to Su Huaimo. Su Huaimo and Mingwei were deeply in love, and he couldn’t bear to see his beloved upset.
This relative also had some history with Gu Yan—it was none other than Guo Congjia, who had once publicly accused Senior Tutor Gu. It was later determined that he had been misled by villains. Gu Yan, for Su Huaimo’s sake, spared his life. After passing another round of examinations, he now served in the Ministry of War.
Having experienced great ups and downs, the once indignant scholar had calmed down, feeling deep remorse toward Senior Tutor Gu. For this mission, he volunteered to atone.
Yan Xuerui already knew from Gu Yan that Ming Lan was safe, but she couldn’t say it outright and could only give a vague response. Rubbing her sore waist, she noticed Su Huaimo standing there motionless and said with a smile, “Lord Su, just speak your mind—no need to stand on ceremony.”
Su Huaimo hesitated for a moment before saying, “I... have another matter, concerning Weiwei.”
Oh, he’s already calling her “Weiwei.”
Yan Xuerui felt a mix of emotions—she thought Su Huaimo was a good man, worthy of Mingwei, but she was also reluctant to part with her daughter.
She sighed and said, “Mingwei is still young. Preparing the dowry and selecting an auspicious date will take time. At the earliest, it will be next year...”
“Your humble servant is not here for that.”
Su Huaimo interrupted her. Mingwei had told him that with her father and mother divorced, she had no heart for wedding plans. She had waited for him for so long; this time, it was his turn to wait for her.
He said solemnly, “The court is in turmoil these days. Weiwei hasn’t returned to the academy for several months. Your humble servant requests Your Highness to allow Weiwei to return to the academy to continue her studies.”
Yan Xuerui was taken aback, not expecting Su Huaimo to bring this up suddenly.
She had once feared that Mingwei’s lively nature would trap her in the inner quarters like herself, leading to melancholy. Now, Su Huaimo’s attitude was unusually open-minded.
She looked at Su Huaimo suspiciously and said, “You... don’t mind Mingwei appearing in public?”
Love meant possession.
Just like Gu Yan, who hid her away in the mansion, not allowing others to catch even a glimpse of her.
But Su Huaimo gave her a different answer.
He smiled faintly and said, “Weiwei has always been this way. Your humble servant has long known.”
He loved her lively and bright nature, her boldness and courage unlike typical ladies of her station. He cherished her and couldn’t bear to extinguish her true nature.
He said, “She loves Egret Mountain.”
She loved studying, loved wading into the water to catch fish, and climbing trees to catch birds. Even after they married, he wouldn’t restrain her or force her to become a traditional wife.
Yan Xuerui widened her eyes, seeing a man like Su Huaimo for the first time. After a long moment, she waved her hand and said, “This princess understands.”
The emperor had a cold and wanted to marry her off, Gu Yan was sent away to compile books, the crown prince was reprimanded, the crown princess faked a pregnancy, Ming Lan was in trouble... recent times had indeed been tumultuous. Mingwei was a sensible and good child, keeping her company every day, trying to lift her spirits. But she never spoke of her own inner sorrows.
It might be better for her to go to the academy, far out in the suburbs, away from the capital’s chaos.
Yan Xuerui personally saw Mingwei off. Usually, she didn’t notice it, but now with Mingwei gone, only the little Young Slave, who couldn’t yet speak, remained to keep her company. Without Mingwei’s constant chatter, the mansion lost its warmth and felt empty.
She ended her leave due to illness and began attending court daily again. The emperor’s health was not well, and after the incident with Lord Lu, he never again brought up marrying her off. Yan Xuerui breathed a sigh of relief. In between, she sneaked a few meetings with Gu Yan, and before she knew it, late autumn arrived, with all things growing quiet.
During one morning court session, the emperor unexpectedly and suddenly lashed out at the Marquis of Jingyuan’s household.