Chapter 74: Pouring Out One's Heart
The capital was bustling, with carriages and horses traversing the mountain pass daily. Yet, by some twist of fate, only Lord Lu was crushed to death?
Yan Xuerui found such a coincidence hard to believe. The messenger reported, "His body was pulverized beyond recognition; no complete remains could be salvaged. Only a cenotaph can be erected."
"These are unsettling times. Your Highness, being of noble birth, should return to the manor soon to avoid any distress outside."
The Lü family was a distinguished lineage, and Lord Lu, in his forties, was in the prime of his life. To be inexplicably crushed to death was a profound humiliation. In those days, people believed in honoring the dead as if they were alive, and censors dared to remonstrate in court, all for the sake of their posthumous reputation. Lord Lu’s lack of even a complete corpse was considered an extreme disgrace.
The Lü family would certainly not let this matter rest. Yan Xuerui grew suspicious but understood that this was not her place to interfere. To avoid suspicion and to dissuade the emperor from marrying her off, she claimed illness and stayed home, spending her days playing chess and the zither with Ming Wei, feeding the young slave. Life was leisurely.
Yet, as she sought to withdraw from the world, things often went awry.
The Lü family blocked the roads and investigated for half a month, finding nothing. It was simply a boulder on the mountaintop that had loosened and coincidentally crushed Lord Lu.
This disaster was deemed a "natural calamity," but the Lü family, seething with unvented anger—for they could hardly smash the rock in retaliation—turned their frustration toward Yan Xuerui.
Lord Lu had been perfectly fine. One moment he was seeking to marry Princess Changle, and the next, he met a tragic end. Could it be that Princess Changle had brought about his demise?
Since ancient times, beautiful women have often been the subject of gossip, and the more beautiful they are, the more likely they are to be maliciously speculated about. In the past, Gu Yan had forbidden her from seeing others. While this satisfied some of his desires, it also, to some extent, protected her.
When Yan Xuerui appeared in the grand hall that day, her beauty stunned everyone. However, the emperor cherished her, granting her a title and an estate. With such high status, no one dared to covet or disrespect her.
But times had changed. The emperor was gradually aging, and a bout of cold had forced him to rest for half a month. With the death of the Virtuous Prince, the crown prince’s actions became increasingly steady, fully embodying the demeanor of a heir apparent.
As the saying goes, the court changes with the emperor. A princess’s status might sound noble, but that is only under the rule of her own father. If the crown prince were to ascend the throne in the future, how much affection would he have for this "imperial sister" who appeared out of nowhere?
The Lü family had strongly supported the crown prince, treating him as the "future emperor"—it was only a matter of time. They boldly proposed that Princess Changle should mourn and observe mourning rites for Lord Lu to atone for her "sins."
The Lü family’s antics infuriated the emperor, who was lying ill in bed, so much that he actually "recovered." The emperor ordered the imperial physicians to increase his medication, and the next day, he sat majestically on the dragon throne, sternly reprimanding the Lü family for disrespecting the royal family and the crown prince for failing to control his subordinates, making him unfit to be the heir apparent.
How could a princess be made to observe mourning rites for a mere official? The emperor felt that the Lü family was not asking Yan Xuerui to atone but was trampling on the dignity of the royal family!
As for the crown prince, the emperor was not even dead yet, and he was already mistreating his siblings. If the empire were handed over to him in the future, would his other children even have a place to stand?
The emperor scolded the crown prince mercilessly and immediately ordered him to reflect on his actions behind closed doors. The emperor scanned the court and suddenly let out a cold laugh, saying, "In ancient times, Yao, Shun, and Yu passed down the throne based on virtue and wisdom. Although I do not possess the broad-mindedness of the ancient sages, I am not a stubborn person who only cares about direct lineage."
He had other sons, grandsons, and even clan relatives. He was still at the height of his power, and even the crown prince was not allowed to encroach on his authority.
The emperor leaned on the dragon throne, his thin arm already bulging with veins. The imperial physicians had advised him to avoid anger and rest more, but how could he remember their advice now? His gaze fell on Gu Yan, who stood tall with his hands behind his back. Gu Yan had been quietly compiling books during this time, and for a moment, the emperor actually considered reinstating him.
Gu Yan was simply too useful. On the surface, he navigated the court flawlessly, and in the shadows, he handled dirty deeds cleanly and efficiently. He could write elegant essays and repel a hundred thousand enemy troops.
What a pity.
The thought was quickly dismissed by the emperor. He glanced past Gu Yan, leaned back on the dragon throne, and delivered another piece of news.
"My General Gu, on his way back to the northwest, was ambushed at the White Dragon Dune after passing through the Yumen Gate."
"The area is filled with endless sand dunes, and sandstorms blot out the sky. Now, there is no sign of him—neither alive nor dead."
"General Gu guarded the border for ten years, rendering great service to the state. I am deeply grieved. Which of you is willing to don armor and take up arms to find General Gu for me?"
***
Yan Xuerui was still troubled by the matter of Lord Lu when she suddenly heard this news. Her vision went black, and she nearly fainted.
Gu Yuan and his men were missing, and her Ming Lan was among them!
She could no longer care about anything else. Immediately, she led her people and stormed furiously to the Marquis of Jingyuan’s residence. At that time, Gu Yan was in his study, holding a letter between his slender fingers and burning it over a flame. In an instant, it turned to ashes.
This was Gu Yuan’s last letter, sent ten days ago, stating that they would soon pass through the White Dragon Dune, where sandstorms blotted out the sky—a perfect place for an ambush.
On their way back to the northwest, they had encountered no fewer than five assassination attempts after leaving the city gate. Fortunately, they were well-prepared and cautious throughout the journey, suffering only minor injuries without major issues.
The Gu family trained specialized carrier pigeons for communication, and he had maintained contact with Gu Yuan along the way. However, after passing through the White Dragon Dune, communication suddenly ceased. Although he believed that with Gu Yuan and Ming Lan’s skills, they were unlikely to perish in the desert, the lack of news from them for so long made it impossible for Gu Yan to remain indifferent.
He frowned in deep thought when a servant announced that Princess Changle had come to visit. Gu Yan was slightly taken aback. Ignoring the messy desk, he personally went to invite her in.
"Why have you come?"
After many days, Yan Xuerui once again stepped into the familiar study. She looked at Gu Yan, her eyes reddening, and bit her lip without speaking.
Gu Yan could not bear this. He pulled her into his arms and let her sit on his lap.
"Don’t panic. What’s wrong?"
"Did someone offend you? That Lü fellow is already dead. Who else could it be?"
Gu Yan’s tone was gentle, but a flicker of ruthlessness passed through his dark eyes. He had previously spread rumors far and wide about his affection for Princess Changle, so much so that even the common people knew about his deep love for his Rui Er.
Anyone who dared to openly covet his woman deserved a thousand cuts—death was too lenient for him!
Only then did Yan Xuerui realize that Lord Lu’s death had been orchestrated by Gu Yan. But now was not the time to dwell on that. She looked up and said, "You promised me that Ming Lan would be safe."
She had trusted him, followed his words, and turned a deaf ear to outside matters, spending her days raising the child in the princess’s residence.
Yan Xuerui had asked about his plans before, using both soft and hard tactics, but the man’s lips were sealed tighter than a dead soldier’s. Only in moments of passion would he whisper in her ear, "Don’t worry, I’m here."
His confident tone gave her an inexplicable sense of security, as if she had been bewitched by him. Now, hearing this sudden bad news, Yan Xuerui’s vision went black. Without thinking too deeply, she came straight to Gu Yan.
He would surely have a solution.
After their long time together, Gu Yan seemed capable of anything in her eyes.
"Ming Lan is fine, silly Rui Er. Don’t worry needlessly."
Gu Yan smiled faintly and pointed to the pile of ashes that had not yet fully dispersed. "Ming Lan just sent me a reply. It’s all a diversion to deceive the emperor. How could you be fooled too?"
"Our son is alive and well."
The letter had already turned to ashes, and Yan Xuerui had no way of knowing what it contained. Still, Gu Yan’s answer eased her mind slightly.
With reddened eyes, she asked again, "Really?"
"Since when have I ever lied to you?"
Gu Yan raised an eyebrow. Even if he was talking nonsense, his tone was as convincing as if it were the truth.
"We knew the emperor would make a move sooner or later. Did you expect us to wait obediently to be killed? A Yuan is brave and unmatched in battle, and Ming Lan is young and promising. Rui Er, you underestimate them too much."
Yan Xuerui believed him.
She let out a long, exhausted sigh. After a moment, she blinked and asked again, "Gu Yan, what... exactly are you planning to do?"
As usual, Gu Yan smiled without answering.
Yan Xuerui had had enough of living in constant fear. The study was the most secluded place in the Gu residence, closely guarded on all sides. She looked at him and said, "Do you want to become emperor? Are you planning a rebellion?"
Gu Yan was taken aback and pressed his slender finger against her lips.
"Do not speak recklessly."
He did have plans to stage a coup, but he had no intention of taking the throne. Beyond the capital, the vast territories, with their hundreds of provinces and regions, had bowed to the Zhou royal family for a century.
It wasn't that he couldn't do it, but going against the prevailing order would require far more effort—it simply wasn't worth it.
Yan Xuerui tugged at his sleeve, refusing to let it go. Over these days, she had come to understand many things and now instinctively knew how to manipulate him.
She lifted her head, her beautiful, tear-filled eyes wide, dark and glistening with unshed tears.
"You don't trust me?" she said. "For you, I even betrayed my own father. And you're still keeping things from me?"
Her tone was accusatory, as if she had suffered a great injustice. Gu Yan rubbed his forehead in frustration. He knew full well that her so-called "betrayal of the emperor" was for the sake of their children.
Her three children were her utmost priority; she was merely pragmatic, not doing it for him.
Gu Yan took the chance to grasp her chin, narrowing his eyes. "For me, hmm?"
As a warrior, he applied some force. Yan Xuerui didn’t need a mirror to know it would surely leave a bruise.
"Mm," she murmured, tears welling in her eyes—this time genuine tears of pain.
She gently placed her hand over his heart and said, "We have been husband and wife for so many years, raising three children together. Our bond is unlike any other."
"Bond?" Gu Yan scoffed, pressing further. "I took you by force. What bond do we share? Enlighten me."
He made no attempt to conceal the terrible things he had done in the past. Yan Xuerui was left speechless by his question. After a long pause, she bit her lip lightly and said, "Although at first... you were utterly beastly."
Gu Yan’s brow twitched as he listened to her continue.
"You forced me to be your concubine, locked me away, imprisoned me, and even beat me with a whip. You have a terrible temper, are difficult to please, overly controlling, and use your brute strength to hurt me. Back then, I wished I could devour your flesh and drink your blood..."
Yan Xuerui finally seized this chance to pour out her heart. Seeing Gu Yan’s expression darken, she licked her lips, her fingers tracing his sharp, stern features, and suddenly smiled.
"But you have one redeeming quality—you are sincere toward me."
And he was good to the children as well.
The recent events had made her realize that in this world, there was likely no one else who treated her with more sincerity than Gu Yan.
Gu Yan let out a low chuckle, took her wrist, and toyed with it in his palm. "And what about you?" he asked.
He had treated her with sincerity—how had she repaid him?
Yan Xuerui was taken aback. She lowered her dark lashes, her voice as faint as a mosquito’s hum. "Your heart... is like mine."
This was the most daring statement Yan Xuerui could muster. Even after saying this much, did Gu Yan still not trust her?
After a long silence without any response, Yan Xuerui slowly raised her head and met Gu Yan’s dark, intense gaze.
His palm pressed firmly against the nape of her neck, his fingers threading through her dark hair, forcing her to tilt her head back as he captured her lips in a fierce, passionate kiss.