At the beginning of freshman year, Yi Siwei didn't know Mo Wuli yet.To be precise, he doesn't remember her. Sometimes he has an impression of her face, but not her name. Sometimes he remembers her name, but he doesn't know what she looks like.
He went to buy cigarettes, lost his way around, walked down the stairs, and finally found someone who could ask for directions.
Shadows flickered on the lawn where stray cats gathered.
There are a lot of stray cats in the school, some people will buy cat food and feed them in bowls.In summer, everyone wears short clothes, but Mouli is completely black and tightly wrapped.
The cat was eating, the senior sister squatted down and gently stroked the cat's back.Mouli stood beside them, only she didn't even bend down, and stood upright.
The senior sister took a few photos of the cat and raised her face.The sun shines unevenly on her face through the gaps between the branches.She smiled at Mouli and showed off triumphantly: "Maomao is very obsessive and easily scratches people. But now, it will come over when it sees me."
At that time, Mouli's face was too thin and her skin was paler than later.She smiled.
The girl's voice was very soft: "Are they sterilized?"
"Ah?" From the tone of the person's face, the senior sister's expression must have been cramped for a moment.However, the strength of human thinking is that it can always help oneself to be logical and self-consistent, "When you are adopted, you will definitely be sterilized."
"That's right. It's so cute." Mouli made a teasing voice, "Little Mao Prince."
Companions are calling.The senior got up and went to the side with her friends.
When the animal lovers dispersed, Mouli was still standing there.Only she and the cat remained where they were, both black, like shadows on the ground.
After going down the last step, Yi Siwei was about to approach, but saw her lowering her head with a smile.
Stray cats that get food will continue to reproduce, however, the conditions for their infestation are a lie.There will be no good results for anyone.
Mouli stretched out her foot, stepped on the hard bottom of the leather shoe to the cat bowl, and spun around gracefully.With a crisp sound, the porcelain cracked.But she raised her head and returned to the original line of sight, with a smile still on her face.
abnormal.
bad woman.
Affective disorder.
This is Yi Siwei's most intuitive idea.
Later it was on class team building.Someone asked him if he was going, and immediately a burly male classmate hugged him and yelled for him in a very warm and masculine way: "Of course we want to go!"
Yi Siwei moved his body slightly, trying to avoid more physical contact.Who are you thinking about?Who is Siwei?He hates this kind of open-mindedness without a sense of boundaries.
He smiled awkwardly, obviously stiffly.But the funny thing is, because he is so handsome, even the information of the expression itself is weakened and covered under the appearance.
There were quite a few classmates standing beside him, and many of them had a good impression of him, but at that moment, they were so ridiculous that they didn't realize it. They only felt that he was being framed by a big guy to make him cute, and no one came to his rescue.
Yi Siwei is not a character who can't say "no", most of the time, he just doesn't care.
Does that hurt feelings?He never felt that classmates, brothers and sisters were important relationships.Of course, being able to get along and become friends is another matter.The threshold of love is even higher, and solving physical problems is second.As far as his character is concerned, it is unreasonable to talk to each other.But don't deny that he is a little longing for love, and he knows that it is not easy.
Yi Siwei doesn't want to spend too much energy on irrelevant people. The disadvantage of doing so is that occasionally someone will unilaterally rely on him and magnify his feelings without authorization.In fact, he does nothing, simply because it doesn't matter.
On that day, he participated in the dinner with the whole class.
In order to deepen the relationship, several classmates poured him a lot of wine.That was the most drunk he had ever been since he was born. Yi Siwei hated alcohol, so he was forced to try it, and finally passed out outside the shop.With a cigarette in his hand, he fell directly on the bench waiting for a seat at the door.
Drowsy, liquid dripped on his face.
He vaguely thought it was raining.
Yi Siwei was half asleep and half awake, the cigarette still burning between his fingers.It seemed that someone took it and stood beside him and took a deep breath.The raindrops are still falling.He vaguely opened his eyes, his vision was blurred and distorted, and there was a bad woman's face inside.
It turned out not to be rainwater.
She bent down, obviously not bending her back when looking at the cat.But now, she was leaning over for him, looking down at him with a blank expression.Just looking at his facial features, he couldn't find sadness anywhere, only tears bubbling down his cheeks, silently falling onto his face.
Why are you crying?
For a long time, Yi Siwei once thought it was a dream.He didn't know her, and he drank too much alcohol, it was just a dream, and she even transferred the money ten minutes before falling asleep.
But Mouli mentioned the matter of meal expenses to him.He paid for that dinner, which was the same as 90% of the dinners he attended in the past.But she paid him her share alone.
Is it because of upbringing, self-esteem, or simply hating him?
Yi Siwei couldn't figure it out.
However, thinking about it later, he has been suspicious since then.
Moule must be avoiding him.After all, if it wasn't for this, he must have noticed her long ago.The slender neck, the eyes that make others avoid when they look at each other, the habit of hiding emotions... all these things made the radar in his heart scream.
As if jointly and severally responsible, after confirming that the transfer was true, Lei Yu's memory gradually recovered.But, no matter how you think about it, it's too ridiculous—the monitor who had never spoken to him alone cried silently to him throughout the semester.No one will believe you when you tell.
He himself is not sure whether it is a kind of erotic dream of a hidden female ghost, maybe everything is just his fantasy.
Taking her on a yacht in his hometown, and eating BBQ with his friends, Yi Siwei mentioned this night in a side note.
Mouli's reaction was very natural and normal, nothing unusual.
The timeline goes back to the present.
Before dawn, the two climbed onto the same sofa.With his back to her, he quietly digested his own troubles and anguish, and then fell asleep.
It was still dark outside the window, Mouli had tiptoed up and put on her jacket and trousers.She was very careful when she went out, and even the sound of the door closing was minimal.
Hearing the sound of the door, Yi Siwei opened his eyes, slid under the sofa, and watched the car repair video on his mobile phone.After a while, he got up, took another shower, and was about to study, but got a call.
Yi Siwei wore all black, a black scarf, and black-rimmed glasses to drive.
He parked the car on the side of the road.Normally, he would never come to this kind of store.The inside of the store is a bit like a bar, but the difference is that there are more glass bottles, and the smoke is everywhere, and the strong fragrance blows your face.
He flicked his coat in disgust, and walked to the bar: "Don't make an appointment at the hookah shop. Every time I get a strange smell on my body."
"It's very fragrant." Lan Yiruo turned her head, showing her teeth when she smiled.She has a short face, bright eyes, bright red lips, and is quite a bright beauty.
As the grades go up, the school's curriculum will only get fuller and fuller.I still have to go to the laboratory, and have to learn to write papers.After a while, it's time to go to the hospital for an internship.From choosing this industry, a busy life awaits them.
Yi Siwei went to school ahead of schedule and to the laboratory first.Among the subjects, the tutor who favored him had already mentioned his name to the front.He is indeed good enough, the group will report, and he is not even inferior to senior brothers and sisters.
He had to go to class after work, so he glanced at his phone.Since last weekend, Mouli has not responded to messages, and no one answered her calls.
However, he didn't expect that she didn't come to school either.
The deputy squad leader said that she had asked for personal leave.Yi Siwei hadn't heard of it at all.He asked where she was and what happened.After a long time, she replied that she was fine and just needed time to rest.Tang Qile persuaded him to respect other people's ideas, and Pan Duoran said that girls' menstruation is very hard, and he can't help, so don't make trouble.
Yi Siwei drove to her house, circled downstairs, stopped for a while, and then drove away.
By Friday, Mouli still didn't come to school.
For them, it is not a trivial matter to be absent from school for so long, especially at the end of the year.
In the evening, Yi Siwei called her and said that he was downstairs at her house.The voice-activated light at the entrance was broken. He didn't want to get too dark, so he turned on the flashlight function of his phone.
After waiting for a long time, Mouli came downstairs, wearing a black top with a simple pattern, showing her legs.But haven't seen her for a few days. She suddenly looks a lot thinner, without makeup, but the eyeliner that hasn't been removed completely remains under her eyes, making her cat eyes sharp.
"I'm a little uncomfortable these days..." Mouli told him with a smile.
Yi Siwei wanted to give her the copied notes, but accidentally, the mobile phone that was used as a flashlight shook.Mouli frowned, like a frightened insect, avoiding it fiercely and sensitively, such a fragile movement is heartbreaking.
If he doesn't go away, she can't go back.
After being silent for a while, Yi Siwei said, "I saw Lan Yiruo."
She was shaken for a moment.Ran Yiruo, Mouli is the only uneasy factor that still has some worries.
She gently closed the door. There was an alarm button on the access control machine. Once pressed, the notification sound was enough to attract other people.She won't suffer if there is a conflict.
Mo Wuli looked at Yi Siwei, pursed her lips, and wanted to find out more about the situation.
"She told me a terrible story." Yi Siwei paused for a moment, staring into Mouli's eyes, "Is that true?"
The wind blew over, and the woman stood firmly, only her long hair was scattered, covering her face intermittently.
Mouli's voice is very soft, every pronunciation is very delicate, like crying, like crying: "...how much do you know?"
Yi Siwei looked at her without showing any bitterness at first.What is solid is riddled with cracks, and helplessness seeps through the cracks.
He asked, "So, do you really not like me?"
Mouli watched him, and gradually, she took her hand away from the door and reached for his face.
She wanted to touch his face, but he avoided it.There was no hurt emotion on Mouli's face, she just stared at him for a long time, with the corners of her mouth raised.It was that Mouli smile again, something was buried so deep that no one knew about it anymore.
Mouli said, "Do you want to come to my house?"
The elevator slowly ascended, Mouli opened the door, but there was no light in the room.She stepped in first.
Yi Siwei held the door and looked into the dark room.Stumbling under his feet, he lowered his head, and the entrance hallway was full of things.Plastic bags, books, carts, dirty and old, miscellaneous things piled up together, obviously could be thrown away, but they were still put in place.
Is she acting like this at home?
It took some effort to get around them, so Yi Siwei moved in slowly.Mouli was already standing inside, talking.There was only one table next to her, and no one was there, probably on the phone.
There was unusual joy in Mouli's voice, which was in stark contrast to her haggard posture: "He's here. Men are like idiots, and Yi Siwei is easy to deal with."
Yi Siwei doesn't mind being said that, not because it doesn't matter, but because she is Mouli, because this is an objective fact.
Suppressing his dizziness, he staggered in.
The curtains were drawn tightly, and the room was dark, messy and full of rubbish.It's not wet garbage that smells bad, but it's enough to be tongue-in-cheek.
Mouli's phone rests on a table covered with water bottles, paper and dust.
She wasn't holding a cell phone, nor was she on the phone.Ever since Yi Siwei came in, Mouli hadn't turned towards him, but always faced the table.Various messenger bags and backpacks hung on the chairs by the table, and on the table, there, was another thing.
Mouli pulled out the chair and sat down slowly.She looked in the direction of no life, gradually tired, and lay down again, folding her arms into a pillow.The long hair fell into jet-black waterfalls, covering her pale face.But underneath that, she must still have her eyes open.Some of the ends of the hair are entrenched on the table, while others are resting on the shoulder blades, hanging vaguely.
Yi Siwei stood beside her, stretched out his hand, held the strands of hair from her forehead, brushed them gently, and wrapped them behind her ears.
Mouli was motionless.
He asked with an almost drowning calm.
"What's this?"
Wanting to escape from the shadows, but even the heart and body form shadows, like walking alone in the polar night.When wandering and talking alone, when lying in the bathtub at the end of the day, no matter where she goes, she will take Nanguo with her.It's not that want to be inseparable, but hope she can be a witness.
The auditory hallucination dissipated, and even if it existed, Mouli knew it was false.She said, "Don't you want to know Nan Guo?"
The author has something to say:
It was mentioned in the previous article that my cousin was scolded for buying a plane ticket for Mouli
The reason is that airlines need formalities to carry ashes on board.But the train will be much more convenient