Chapter 83: Gu Yan, Please Teach Me
Ming Wei, a young lady of noble birth from a prestigious family, had always been accustomed to a life of privilege. She disliked the palace, and out of respect for Gu Yan, Empress Xu never dared to compel her presence. Thus, whether as the daughter of the Grand Tutor or the daughter of Princess Changle, her status felt much the same.
Her greater concern lay with her parents' relationship. The atmosphere between her father and mother was peculiar. Now, without formal marital ties, yet often sharing a bed, it struck her as truly odd.
Gu Yan wielded formidable authority, frequently punishing her with confinement. Ming Wei dared not question him directly. So, while enjoying tea and admiring plum blossoms with her mother, Ming Wei rolled up her sleeves and diligently poured a cup of tea for Yan Xuerui.
"Mother, when will you and Father... reconcile?"
Ming Wei counted on her fingers, speaking with conviction: "When Father and Mother divorced, it was said to be due to circumstances. But now, no one can force us anymore."
"Father always stays in the palace... well, it harms Mother's reputation."
Ming Wei's eyes, dark and bright, saw her parents as always deeply in love. She had been young when many events transpired, and Yan Xuerui had deliberately shielded her from those past details.
Yan Xuerui lowered her head, lightly skimming the foam from her tea with the lid. After a long pause, she softly asked, "Isn't this good enough?"
She lived in the palace with her children, summoning Gu Yan whenever she pleased. As Young Slave was Gu Yan's son, he would diligently serve the state, if only for their child's sake.
Yan Xuerui found her current life quite comfortable.
"No, it's not good."
Ming Wei shook her head. She was grown now, no longer easily fooled. A strange tension had lingered between her parents since their divorce, and she had merely kept silent about it.
Ming Wei's eyes showed concern as she cautiously asked, "Mother, are you... angry with Father?"
Her father was strict with his children, but exceptionally gentle and considerate towards her mother. Why was Mother unwilling to reconcile with him? Ming Wei couldn't fathom it. But as a thoughtful daughter, she didn't press like her maternal grandmother might have. Instead, she first inquired, "Has Father wronged you in some way, causing you distress?"
Yan Xuerui was momentarily stunned. Ming Wei's question caught her off guard. After years of marriage to Gu Yan, if she were to honestly consider whether he had ever wronged her, the answer was no.
Yet, she did feel wronged.
Setting aside old grievances, even now, Gu Yan had suffered severe injuries for her, and she was grateful. But just a few months prior, this same man had restrained her limbs, branding her shoulder, needle by needle, with his exclusive mark.
She feared him.
Their bond was too profound. He was the father of her children, and she still depended on him. She could never accept another man. In the lonely nights, she needed him.
Such complex emotions were beyond Yan Xuerui's own clear articulation, let alone the inexperienced Ming Wei.
She sighed softly and, as usual, deflected: "A young lady shouldn't ask such things. Aren't you ashamed?"
Ming Wei blinked and retorted, "Mother, I'm a grown woman now."
Su Huaimo was, after all, waiting to propose.
She had always been candid with her mother. Her cheeks flushed slightly as she said, "The Su family... is highly respected locally and values etiquette. They plan to visit Father and Mother."
Recently, with everything so busy, Yan Xuerui had sent Ming Wei directly to the academy, neglecting her daughter. Now, suddenly reminded, she realized: her daughter-in-law was settled, and next was her daughter’s marriage.
By all reason and custom, they ought to meet the elders of the other family.
Yan Xuerui suddenly grew worried. In these times, family reputation was paramount. Her divorce from Gu Yan was known throughout the land. Though she and Gu Yan would protect Ming Wei from suffering, would others look down on her because of this?
Distracted by these thoughts, she sent Ming Wei away to feed her pet canary. She herself no longer felt like admiring plum blossoms or drinking tea.
Keeping a certain distance from Gu Yan felt just right for her. Any closer, and that man’s controlling nature would become an unbearable torment.
***
Amid Yan Xuerui’s contemplations, the New Year festival break concluded. On the tenth day of the first lunar month, officials formally returned to court. As the new emperor was young, a couch and bright yellow embroidered curtains were specially placed behind the dragon throne. Princess Changle held the new emperor behind the curtains, which were so thick that only a faint silhouette could be seen.
Yan Xuerui had fed Young Slave earlier. Once full, he became somewhat well-behaved, neither crying nor fussing. His dark, grape-like eyes wide open, he reached out to play with the tassels in front of him. Yan Xuerui soothed him while listening to the discussions outside.
Many government affairs had accumulated before the New Year. Besides major matters like the era name and sacrificial ceremonies, the most attention was on the imperial relatives, especially the disposition of the Crown Prince. Young Slave’s ascension to the throne was peculiar, largely orchestrated by Gu Yan. To ensure his son’s legitimacy, Gu Yan left no loose ends.
In court, he listed the Crown Prince’s various crimes. Over the years, he had covered up for the Crown Prince countless times, and the evidence was irrefutable. The ministers were stunned; Gu Yan’s swift and decisive move caught everyone off guard.
Yan Xuerui now had a limited understanding of court affairs. Through the thick curtains, she heard Gu Yan’s steady and cold voice, so different from when he was in their chambers. She had once imagined what court sessions would be like—solemn and dignified or fraught with hidden tensions, with veiled words and subtle confrontations. But now, experiencing it firsthand, she found it rather underwhelming. Those ministers in stiff official garments argued, faces reddening with urgency, without much dignity.
Yan Xuerui couldn’t see their faces clearly, only hearing their voices and positions to identify who was speaking. She silently noted this information, comparing it with what she vaguely knew before, listening without speaking. At the first court session of the New Year, the era name was changed to "Jingming," and a general amnesty was declared. The Crown Prince was imprisoned in the Eastern Palace, awaiting trial by the three judicial offices.
After the officials dispersed in small groups, the vast golden hall grew empty. Gu Yan lifted the curtain and reached out to her. "Your Highness, permit your servant to attend to you."
He always carried a hint of teasing when he said "your servant." Yan Xuerui glared at him and bypassed his hand. "I’m holding the child. Stop fooling around."
The smile on Gu Yan’s lips faded slightly. He glanced around and said sternly, "Attendants!"
"How dare we let the Princess exert herself? Are you all useless?"
The palace maids and eunuchs behind them knelt in fear and trepidation. Bi He hurried forward to take Young Slave, who was clutching his mother’s clothes with a bewildered expression. Plump and fair, he was too heavy for Yan Xuerui’s slender figure to hold for long.
But there was a difference between her doing it voluntarily and being forced. In front of so many people, Yan Xuerui did not want to embarrass Gu Yan. She walked toward the inner palace, with Gu Yan following closely. When they reached the entrance of Changle Palace, Yan Xuerui stopped and said stiffly:
"Grand Tutor Gu, I did not summon you. You have overstepped your bounds."
Gu Yan raised an eyebrow. "Your servant only wishes to attend to Your Highness’s daily care."
—During the New Year holidays, Gu Yan had used this excuse to linger in Changle Palace. He was injured, so Yan Xuerui could not easily send him away. Applying medicine often led to the bed, and they carried on daily. Several times, his wounds reopened. Even so, with precious medicine, his wounds had now scabbed over and were not serious.
Yan Xuerui’s lashes fluttered. "There’s no need to trouble the Grand Tutor. Please return."
Lately, she had noticed something: just as she was unwilling to embarrass Gu Yan in public, perhaps fearing she would lose authority in the palace, whenever they were in a public setting, if she gave an order, Gu Yan would always respect the dignity of Princess Changle.
This was why, even though she still shared a bed with Gu Yan, she was unwilling to reconcile with him as Ming Wei wished. Without a formal title, she felt freer.
Sure enough, upon hearing this, Gu Yan bowed before her. Tall and straight, his bow brought him level with Yan Xuerui’s full bosom. His expression was serious, but Yan Xuerui wondered, uncertain, if he was deliberately being improper.
"Your servant obeys the decree."
Yan Xuerui watched him walk away, then turned and entered the palace. The memorials from the morning court session had already piled up like a small mountain on the desk. After court, the emperor was supposed to review these petitions. But since the emperor was still nursing, the palace attendants could only deliver them to Changle Palace for Princess Changle to review.
Yan Xuerui sat down and picked up a memorial to read. Coinciding with the New Year, there were many greetings and tribute memorials. Yan Xuerui sorted them into categories: greetings, congratulatory messages, and gratitude memorials required little attention, but the others left her uncertain.
First were the weather and grain reports from various prefectures and counties, detailing local conditions like rain, snow, and harvests. To be blunt, Yan Xuerui had never managed a household before and didn’t even know the price of rice in the capital. Now, tasked with reviewing memorials from across the realm, she read them over and over but couldn’t make sense of them.
Why report heavy snow in a town thousands of miles from the capital? Yan Xuerui didn’t understand.
She set these aside separately. Next were petitions and reports on affairs: where to build canals or repair embankments; which officials were corrupt, awaiting judgment from the capital; where bandits were rampant, requesting troops to suppress them; even two officials blaming each other and filing complaints against one another. It made Yan Xuerui’s head spin.
After an hour, aside from the greetings and tribute memorials, she only understood one military report—a petition from General Gu Yuan of the northwest.
It generally said: the borders were stable, military funds were sufficient, and he would serve the Emperor faithfully, even unto death. The Emperor need not worry, but should take care of his health in the cold weather.
If all ministers throughout history were as loyal and capable as Gu Yuan, emperors would laugh in their dreams. But the new emperor was still a nursing infant who couldn’t even speak—how could he understand these petitions? This was Gu Yuan writing to her.
Yan Xuerui felt complicated emotions. Setting aside past grievances, Second Master had both protected her eldest son and supported her youngest. Even the deepest rift had been smoothed over. She picked up her brush but didn’t know how to respond. By the time the ink dried, she closed the memorial and sighed softly.
"If it's so difficult, why not come to me?"
A low voice sounded, startling Yan Xuerui. She turned to see Gu Yan standing quietly in the corner, not knowing how long he’d been there.
The silent room suddenly had another person in it; she didn't even know how or when he had entered. Yan Xuerui was so startled she went pale.
"Gu Yan!"
She instinctively pressed Gu Yuan’s memorial to the bottom of the pile, her beautiful eyes wide as she glared at Gu Yan in anger. "You tricked me again!"
She had clearly told him to leave, yet he had pulled a fast one on her!
Gu Yan slowly closed the distance between them, his expression serious. "Outer court officials are not permitted to enter the inner palace. Grand Tutor Gu has already obeyed Your Highness’s command and withdrawn."
As for now, he was here as her lover for a secret tryst. Gu Yan hadn’t expected that, in middle age, he would experience the thrill of a young man sneaking over walls to see the one he loves.
Gu Yan strode over to Yan Xuerui, pulled her close by the slender waist he loved, and embraced her. He boldly took the seat she had just vacated, sitting her down on his solid thighs, and said with a low laugh:
"Did I not please you well these past few nights? Why kick me out so coldly?"
Yan Xuerui put up a token struggle a couple of times, mindful of his still-healing wounds, not daring to hit or bite him too hard. She snapped, "No, you didn’t."
"You hurt me, you scoundrel!"
Gu Yan raised a handsome brow. "Really, it hurt?"
His large hand slid playfully under her robes. "How come I remember you being soaked and out of control? Let me see."
Rui Er was talking nonsense—in Gu Yan’s view, she was just being dishonest. She clearly enjoyed it; being too gentle wouldn’t truly stir her desires.
Mindful of her shyness, Gu Yan just smiled without a word, nibbling on her ear. By the time Bi He had finally managed to put Young Slave to sleep after great effort and came to bring refreshments for her mistress, she saw Yan Xuerui sitting on Gu Yan’s lap, her cheeks flushed, breathing heavily. Their clothes were neat and tidy, so Bi He had no idea what they’d been up to now.
From the initial shock to now, Bi He was used to it. Her steps were as light as a cat’s; she neither spoke nor asked questions, simply set down the tea and snacks and quickly withdrew. Gu Yan was still annoyed and remembered this maid named Bi He—the one Rui Er had specifically ordered to be brought from the princess’s residence.
She hadn’t even asked him—her own husband.
Gu Yan let out a cold hum, his palm gently patting her thin, trembling back in reassurance. His gaze drifted toward the memorials she had sorted into categories.
He said casually, "These trivial matters—just have someone send them my way. Like I’d say no?"
"Why endure the hardship of paperwork yourself?"
The daily memorials piled up mountain-high, and reviewing them was physically taxing. He knew Yan Xuerui well; she wouldn’t treat court affairs lightly. It was precisely because he had grasped this that he had obediently withdrawn earlier.
She would inevitably come to him for help.
He hadn’t expected to be the one to soften first. Seeing her frown worriedly was more than Gu Yan could bear.
This version of Gu Yan was entirely different from the cold, stern presence in the throne room. His voice was gentle as he said, "I never intended for you to handle these matters. Why are you being so hard on yourself?"
If she wanted the highest position, he would give it to her. He had already labored for Great Zhou for over a decade; he could wait until Young Slave grew up.
There was no need for her to toil like this.
But Yan Xuerui didn’t see it that way. If you hold a position, you should fulfill its duties—especially since she had no desire to be a pretty ornament or a puppet taking orders from others.
Catching her breath, she reached out and gently tugged at Gu Yan’s sleeve.
"Gu Yan, teach me, won’t you?"