Chapter 72: No Longer Hating Gu Yan
Yan Xuerui’s heart was a tangle of emotions, her expression cold as frost. The servants in the Princess Estate moved with utmost caution, and Ming Wei seemed on the verge of speaking but held back. The only genuinely joyful person in the entire household was Young Slave.
It was as if by instinct—he adored his mother’s warm, fragrant embrace. Normally, even six wet nurses couldn't calm him; at the slightest discomfort, he would cry at the top of his lungs. Yet in Yan Xuerui’s arms, he became a quiet, contented child, kicking his tiny feet and nestling against her chest.
Yan Xuerui was deeply moved by her youngest son’s affection. Though it had been some time since she gave birth, her milk had begun to dry up. Before, she could secretly nurse him, but now there was not a drop left. The little one suckled for a long while before lifting his head in confusion, his dark, round eyes wide like grapes, his small mouth puckered as if deeply wronged.
Her heart ached as she gently stroked his forehead. In the past, Gu Yan had forbidden her from breastfeeding him. Now, with no one to stop her, she immediately ordered the servants to prepare crucian carp soup and other nourishing dishes. She drank two bowls of rich broth every day, restoring her hair to a glossy black, her complexion as fresh as peach blossoms, and her breasts full and abundant.
With her children by her side, life in the Princess Estate was far more peaceful than in the palace. Gu Yan never came looking for her again, but invitations from others poured in like snowflakes—whether because of her status as Princess Changle or as the former wife of Grand Tutor Gu, their public separation had caused quite a stir, and many were eager to see her in person.
Yan Xuerui had once resented Gu Yan for restricting her freedom, but now, faced with a pile of visiting cards and invitations, she paused in reflection before declining them all. Instead, she carried Young Slave into the palace.
She had once promised the emperor that even if she lived in the Princess Estate, she would come to the palace daily to fulfill her filial duties. Among the emperor’s many children, not even the Crown Prince had done so, and the old emperor was deeply comforted. Moreover, well-fed, content, and quiet, Young Slave was as white, soft, and adorable as a glutinous rice ball, delighting everyone who saw him.
“This child… still hasn’t been given a name?”
Yan Xuerui had brought Young Slave to the palace as usual to keep the emperor company. The elderly emperor, lacking energy, soon grew weary after playing with the child and wearily rubbed his forehead.
Yan Xuerui carefully took Young Slave back, pulling out a handkerchief to wipe the drool from his mouth.
“Yes.”
She replied softly, “There’s a folk belief that a child’s fate is fragile, and naming them too early might attract the attention of the underworld. So he hasn’t yet been formally named.”
The emperor chuckled. “This little one is strong—his arms and legs are as sturdy as an ox’s. Changle, you worry too much.”
Yan Xuerui paused, then seized the moment. “What Father says is wise. Why wait for a specific day? Why not have Father bestow a name upon him now?”
As if understanding his mother’s words, Young Slave opened his bright, dark eyes wide and began babbling, “Ooh-wah-wah,” waving his arms and legs energetically, nearly slipping from Yan Xuerui’s hold.
The emperor laughed heartily. “How about Little Ox? With such strength, he’s destined for greatness.”
Then, as if remembering Young Slave’s biological father, the smile faded from his face.
The emperor contemplated briefly, then uttered with solemn gravity, "What of the character 'Ease'?"
“‘Yì’ means freedom, ease, and unrestraint. May his life be like drifting clouds and wild cranes, following his heart wherever it leads.”
“Changle, what do you think?”
The emperor’s words were final—how could Yan Xuerui possibly object? She smiled gracefully and expressed her gratitude, though her mind was already racing.
Naming in the royal family was a complex matter.
Take the Virtuous Prince, named “Zhōu Chéngsì”—“inheriting the lineage.” Such a weighty name made it no surprise that the Virtuous Prince had developed ambitions.
The Crown Prince and the Virtuous Prince were of the "Chéng" generation, while their successors would bear the "Xuán" character. Hence, the Young Slave was officially named "Zhōu Xuányì." It wasn't that the name itself was lacking, but the Crown Princess had barely begun to show her pregnancy when the Emperor had already selected a name for the unborn child: "Xuán Yù."
One name symbolized freedom like drifting clouds and wild cranes; the other, “ruling the world.” The emperor’s intentions were now glaringly clear.
Yan Xuerui gently soothed the child in her arms, her eyes cold. Only now did she realize how naive her earlier hopes had been. The emperor could neither give her the familial love she lacked nor grant her the power she desired.
Was the emperor kind to her? Without a doubt, he doted on her. He had given her a Princess Estate, exceptionally granted her a title and residence. But over the years, Yan Xuerui’s expectations had been raised too high by Gu Yan. She had once entered the palace full of hope to acknowledge her kinship, only to discover in the end that none of it compared to what Gu Yan had given her.
She had grown up basking in the favor of her adoptive parents. She longed for unique, exclusive affection—and only Gu Yan could provide that.
Yet by his side, she had also felt like a puppet, unable to control her own life. In this world, it is always difficult to have it all.
Since signing the divorce papers, Gu Yan had not come to see her again. Yan Xuerui had been bound by him for so many years, and now suddenly set free, she was like the caged golden canary released in the courtyard—stumbling and faltering, having long forgotten how to fly.
"Distracted, Changle? What are you thinking about?"
The emperor interrupted Yan Xuerui's thoughts. She smiled faintly and pinched Young Slave's cheek, saying, "It's all because of this little rascal. He kept me up all night, so I haven't slept well and have no energy during the day."
The emperor, who had also suffered from sleeplessness in the past, understood her plight and was very sympathetic.
"Once, there was a Taoist Master Xu in the palace. The talismans he drew could ward off evil and bring peaceful sleep. He was quite skilled."
The emperor’s eyes showed regret. Taoist Master Xu had helped him find his long-lost daughter, and he was different from those fame-seeking charlatans of the past. Unfortunately, after the palace coup, he had vanished without a trace, making the emperor even more convinced that Taoist Master Xu was a divine being.
He must have foreseen the coming disaster and left without a word. For this reason, the emperor did not launch a large-scale search for him. In his eyes, Fang Zhixu was already a "near-immortal." If an immortal wished to leave, how could he force him to stay?
He said, "I still have a few talismans left here. I’ll have the palace attendants deliver them to the Princess Estate later."
This was an honor he bestowed upon Changle. Yan Xuerui hurriedly bowed and expressed her gratitude. Reminded by the emperor, she suddenly remembered Fang Zhixu.
She had sent Mr. Gao to Cousin Zhixu’s residence, but too many things had happened one after another. Partly out of a desire to avoid facing the situation, she had not yet gone to see Cousin Zhixu.
She wondered how he was doing now. Mr. Gao had said he could be cured—surely after all this time, he must have recovered?
Preoccupied with these thoughts, Yan Xuerui soon took her leave. As she was leaving the palace, she happened to run into the Crown Princess, surrounded by attendants, on her way to pay respects to Empress Xu.
Her belly was slightly rounded, and two palace maids supported her on either side, followed by several other servants, treating her like a fragile porcelain doll.
To avoid attracting trouble, Yan Xuerui greeted her from a distance, but the Crown Princess called out to her.
"Sister Changle."
Supporting her lower back, she slowly walked over, glanced Yan Xuerui up and down, and said with a smile, "I thought I might have been mistaken. Sister Changle remains as radiant as ever."
They had met before at the Flowerviewing Banquet held to select a wife for Ming Lan. At that time, Yan Xuerui was still the Crown Prince’s "mentor's wife," but now she was his "elder sister." How unpredictable life could be.
The Crown Princess’s pregnancy was the treasure of the emperor and Empress Xu. Yan Xuerui did not want to get involved with her and responded with some polite small talk. But the Crown Princess acted as if they were old friends, saying that Yun Shu in the Eastern Palace missed her family and suggesting that Yan Xuerui visit the Eastern Palace sometime to chat.
The more enthusiastic the Crown Princess was, the more cautious Yan Xuerui became. She gave vague replies. Upon returning to the Princess Estate, she immediately sent someone to investigate the Crown Princess, trying to figure out what she was up to.
The female guards left by Gu Yan were very capable, each highly skilled. The former "jailers" who had once restrained and watched over her had now become her shields. Even she found it ironic when she thought about it.
Yan Xuerui suddenly asked, "Did Gu... did he have any message for me?"
The female guard was taken aback and and said, "I follow Your Highness’s orders."
Their former master was Gu Yan, but now it was Yan Xuerui. A servant cannot serve two masters—they would no longer maintain ties with their old master.
Yan Xuerui closed her eyes in frustration. That damned man Gu Yan never told her anything. Now he had been sent away to compile texts—was this also part of his plan?
Ming Lan was on the road, and whether his fate would be good or bad remained unknown.
After today’s events, Yan Xuerui deeply understood that she and Young Slave could rely on no one but Gu Yan.
She said, "Then send him a message. Tell him... today, His Majesty conferred a formal name upon Young Slave."
***
Because Young Slave was so energetic, Yan Xuerui was occupied and unable to visit Cousin Zhixu.
That night, all was quiet. Mist rose softly from the white jade pool. Yan Xuerui stood barefoot on the bluestone floor, wrapped in a vermilion silk wrap. Her jet-black hair cascaded like a waterfall over her shoulders, and her originally snow-white skin, steamed by the mist, took on a faint pink hue.
The candlelight flickered slightly. Yan Xuerui blinked, then slowly sat down before the dressing table, picking up a horn comb to stroke her jet-black, glossy hair in a steady rhythm.
The window seemed to shift faintly, and the sound of wind rustled outside, but beyond that, there was no other movement.
She sat for a long while until the exposed skin of her shoulders and jade-like arms grew chilled. Yan Xuerui rose to her feet and, as she passed the desk, her slender waist seemed to brush against the corner of the table. For a moment, it looked as though she might stumble and fall to the floor.
But her waist was caught by a pair of powerful, sturdy arms. The world spun dizzyingly, and Yan Xuerui tumbled into a familiar embrace. She lifted her arms and naturally wrapped them around the man’s neck, curling her entire body into his hold.
Clad in red satin, her dark hair cascaded like a waterfall around her. The vermilion character "衍" (Yǎn, referring to Gu Yan) bloomed against her snow-white skin, her cheeks flushed faintly pink, and her lips, full and glossy like dewdrops, resembled a fox spirit from *Liaozhai*, one that drained men of their essence.
Gu Yan’s deep, intense gaze fixed on her. His Adam’s apple bobbed, yet unlike before, he did not reach out to caress or explore every inch of her body.
Instead, like a gentleman, he steadied Yan Xuerui on her feet and then released her.
"Be careful."
His voice was low and husky, deeply arousing in the quiet of the night.
Yan Xuerui tightened the blanket around herself. Her beautiful eyes seemed to hold a tantalizing hook as she asked, "What are you doing here?"
Gu Yan let out an amused, almost exasperated laugh. "Should I leave, then?"
*How reckless,* he thought. *Daring to tempt him so openly*. If the timing weren’t so wrong, he would have loved to pin her down right then and there and ravish her thoroughly.
When Gu Yuan departed, he hadn’t taken all three thousand of the Black Armor Army with him. He left half under Gu Yan’s command. Having been stationed in the northwest for years, Gu Yuan had cultivated unshakable loyalty among these troops.
Concealing the movements of over a thousand men—providing them food, shelter, and managing all their needs—was no small feat. Gu Yan had stationed them in a secluded valley, an endeavor that had cost him significant effort. This was his hidden trump card, a surprise weapon held in reserve.
The emperor’s move to discard him after use—sending him to the Hanlin Academy to compile records—actually suited Gu Yan’s plans perfectly. These days, he had been exhaustively preoccupied, not because he was playing hard to get, as Yan Xuerui had assumed, but because he genuinely had no time to spare.
That night, he had originally intended to inspect the troops in the mountains. But when Yan Xuerui sent him a message, he came to her instead.
He said, "Don’t worry. I’m here."
Gu Yan was referring to the matter of Young Slave’s bestowed formal name. A mocking smile touched his lips—*"Xuan Yu,"* indeed. There was something suspicious about the Crown Princess’s pregnancy, and he didn’t believe the Crown Prince’s explanation for a moment.
Knowing she was worried about Ming Lan, Gu Yan added, "Ming Lan and A Yuan have encountered several assassination attempts on their journey, but they emerged unharmed each time. There’s no need to worry."
"And that Su Huaimo you think highly of… he’s now appointed as Vice Minister of Personnel. His career prospects are excellent."
*Their youngest son was right beside her, yet the only ones she cared about were these children!* Gu Yan’s eyes blazed with anger. He stared at Yan Xuerui, her disheveled appearance making his jaw tighten. "This is hardly proper behavior."
Yan Xuerui’s face flushed. After so many years as husband and wife, how many of her clothes had he torn off? What was he pretending to be a paragon of virtue for now?
She was a healthy woman past thirty.
In the past, when Gu Yan’s desires ran strong, she had often felt worn out. But now, with the sudden emptiness and the fortifying broths she’d been drinking regularly, her chest felt full and swollen, aching with no outlet.
She had sent him a message partly out of concern for Ming Lan, but also… she truly had intentions of an intimate encounter with him.
Yan Xuerui gazed at Gu Yan’s sharply defined profile—his phoenix eyes, thin lips, and tall, elegant stature. In terms of looks alone, even at thirty-five, few men in the world could compare to Grand Tutor Gu.
She used to resent him for treating her like a forbidden possession. But since reclaiming her status, moving into the Princess Estate, and their separation… one thing after another had happened. Now that they were apart, with people who answered to her—even if only within the small confines of the Princess Estate, even if it was just a team of guardswomen—no one in the estate dared defy her. She had tasted the power and could now regard Gu Yan as an equal.
After their separation, she found herself remembering his good qualities.
She thought, *I hated Gu Yan’s coercion, but I don’t hate Gu Yan himself.*
If only he weren’t so overbearing.
Yan Xuerui let out a soft sigh. Gently biting her lower lip, she extended her delicate, jade-like fingers and gently traced his chest.