Chapter 6: He Did Not Regret
"Your health, Father."
"Marquis."
Both mother and daughter rose. Ming Wei moved briskly, while Gu Yan paused, then bypassed her to offer a light, steadying hand to Yan Xuerui, who was curtseying behind him.
"Enough. I’ve never known you to be so ceremonious. After just a few days apart, you’ve become overly formal."
Gu Yan naturally took Yan Xuerui’s hand. The touch of his slightly calloused skin made her stiffen, but this time she did not pull away. However, after helping her up, he released her properly, lifted the hem of his robe, and sat in a round-backed armchair, calmly drinking half a cup of tea.
Yan Xuerui looked at him, hesitating whether to speak first about Ming Wei or mention that the tea he was drinking was what she had left behind—and just now… just now, his fingertips had brushed against her palm, fleeting as a dragonfly skimming water, leaving a tingling sensation.
Watching the man sitting upright and proper, she couldn’t tell if he was teasing her or if she was overthinking it.
Gu Yan was known outside as the stern and imposing Crown Prince Senior Tutor, and within the household, he was the decisive head of the family. Yet, in front of his wife and daughter, he could be considered gentle. When Ming Wei was young, she was often frightened to tears by her cold-faced father. After all these years in officialdom, Gu Yan’s demeanor had become more reserved and even more inscrutable.
"Speak, what has happened?"
He set down the teacup, lifted his eyelids to look at Gu Mingwei, certain the issue lay with her.
A young girl’s private matters could be spoken openly before a gentle mother, but never before a father. Ming Wei frowned, stammering and hesitant. Yan Xuerui, mindful of her daughter’s dignity, though anxious inwardly, could not bring it up at this moment.
She poured a cup of tea, skimmed off the foam with the lid, and handed it to Gu Yan, saying, "Marquis, it seems you have gained much from this trip."
The way she changed the subject was so awkward. Gu Yan glanced at her sideways but nodded, humoring her. "Mm."
"I went outside the city to meet A-Yuan."
Yan Xuerui’s heart jolted in surprise. "So soon? Wasn’t it said there was still half a month’s journey?"
The northwest was a thousand miles from the capital. It was said Gu Yuan was leading three thousand elite soldiers, and such a long trek was estimated to take two months.
Yan Xuerui immediately thought, "Then Ming Lan has returned as well? Where is he? When will he be back at the estate?"
She leaned out to look toward the door, her posture full of eager anticipation.
"Don’t worry. A-Yuan and his party have already entered Dongzhimen and are having an audience with His Majesty at the Hall of Diligent Governance."
Gu Yan patiently explained, "There will be a banquet at the estate tonight. If His Majesty releases him promptly, I’ll have him come kowtow to pay his respects to you before the banquet."
However, it was certain the emperor would not release him. Gu Yuan had received a secret decree and rushed back to the capital half a month ahead of schedule, riding day and night. The three thousand Black Armor Army were stationed outside the city, enough to stir up turmoil in the capital.
This also suited Gu Yan’s intentions. He was not overly concerned about Ming Wei, but Ming Lan was already seventeen, practically a grown man. Allowing another man to be alone with his wife—even if it was his own son—was something Gu Yan could hardly tolerate.
The couple went back and forth, completely overlooking their daughter beside them. Ming Wei tried several times to speak but couldn’t get a word in, finally muttering under her breath:
"I will go welcome Second Uncle and Elder Brother. I take my leave now."
With that, she playfully winked at Yan Xuerui, who nodded back, signaling that she would keep their little secret. But then Yan Xuerui immediately divulged her daughter’s secret.
It wasn’t exactly selling her out—it was just that as a woman who had recently left confinement, suddenly asking Gu Yan about an Academy disciple would, given Gu Yan’s sharpness and their earlier demeanor, almost instantly allow him to guess ninety percent of the truth.
"Su Huaimo."
Slender, distinct fingers lightly tapped the table. Gu Yan pondered for a moment before offering a fair evaluation: "A dragon among men, with the bearing of a zhuangyuan."
"Whether he becomes a zhuangyuan is secondary. What matters is his character. How many are in his family? Where is he from?"
Yan Xuerui frowned deeply, her delicate jade-like fingers clutching Gu Yan’s sleeve, crumpling the moon-white cuff.
Gu Yan was not offended. Instead, he quite enjoyed Yan Xuerui’s dependent demeanor. Over the years, she had been superficially obedient, but whenever he touched her, her body would stiffen.
Though he clearly knew what Yan Xuerui wanted to ask, Gu Yan did not say it outright. He pushed aside the half-empty teacup, and Yan Xuerui eagerly stepped forward to refill it. Gu Yan narrowed his eyes slightly, allowing her to ask each question before leisurely answering one by one.
Su Huaimo was indeed a dragon among men, the top-ranked even among the talented at Egret Mountain Academy. Though not from the capital, his family had been generations of educators—both upright and esteemed.
Yan Xuerui grew increasingly worried. If this man were merely outwardly impressive but inwardly worthless, she would have known how to handle it. But he was indeed as her daughter had said: noble as an orchid or jade tree, with impeccable character.
Matters of the heart could not be forced. What was her Ming Wei to do?
The worry in her eyes was almost tangible. In the end, Gu Yan could not bear it. He gently patted the back of her hand, held her slender wrist, and pulled her into his embrace.
"Do not worry."
He looked at Yan Xuerui, his words arrogant yet spoken as if self-evident: "Ming Wei is the esteemed daughter of my marquis estate. As long as the Gu family exists, she will never suffer the slightest grievance."
It was just a man, after all. His daughter, Gu Yan’s daughter, could have whatever she wanted—wind or rain. Why should she torment herself over this?
"You don’t understand."
Yan Xuerui sat on his firm thigh, her mind preoccupied, yet she felt more relaxed and at ease than usual.
She said, "Even if he married Ming Wei thanks to the marquis estate, if he doesn’t truly care for her in his heart, their relationship won’t last. They would inevitably become a resentful couple."
Gu Yan chuckled softly, reminding her, "Rui Er, our daughter has not yet come of age."
It was too early to be discussing marriage.
In his heart, he thought: If our daughter truly likes him, bringing him in as a kept man to amuse her wouldn’t be impossible. However… well, Su Huaimo, the chief disciple of Egret Mountain Academy, that promising seedling nurtured by the Upright faction—it was slightly thorny.
Currently, the court was full of overt and covert struggles, with conflicts between the Upright and the noble families growing increasingly intense. A-Yuan’s return to the capital had added fuel to the fire, and it was about to ignite.
But Yan Xuerui said, "A young woman should make the most of her youth. What if she misses her chance later…"
"Even if she misses it, it’s fine, Rui Er. You’re overthinking it."
Gu Yan interrupted her. He truly did not understand Yan Xuerui’s worries. With the marquis estate as her backing, his daughter could do whatever she wished. She didn’t even have to marry—the estate wouldn’t lack a mouthful of food for her.
Yan Xuerui, concerned and flustered, was reassured by Gu Yan, who, as the Crown Prince Senior Tutor, analyzed the situation for her point by point, speaking calmly and reasonably. He even brought up the time when Princess Pingyang had sought a marriage proposal for her son when Ming Wei was young.
In short, it was not a good match. Gu Yan had refused without a second thought. Rejecting a royal marriage proposal, not only did the emperor not punish him, but he also reprimanded Princess Pingyang.
After Gu Yan’s comfort, Yan Xuerui felt somewhat relieved. Indeed, Ming Wei was not like her. Her daughter had been born into a family of wealth and nobility—no one could force her. She could refuse what she disliked and had the means to pursue what she loved.
Yan Xuerui couldn’t help but smile bitterly inwardly. At this moment, she suddenly felt grateful for Gu Yan’s power and influence. The very shackles that had once bound her so tightly now, years later, protected her daughter.
…
Seeing that she was still frowning, Gu Yan made a decisive statement: "Tomorrow, have Ming Wei come to my study."
The implication was that he would handle this matter and she need not worry. He had returned and drunk three cups of tea, yet her attention had been either on Ming Lan or on Ming Wei. Gu Yan’s expression remained neutral, but inwardly he was not pleased.
If he was not pleased, others would not be either. Yan Xuerui quickly sensed his displeasure. He had always been unpredictable, and she was used to it.
As the saying goes, those who have desires must lower their heads. Having been married to him for so many years, Yan Xuerui knew that while Gu Yan might not excel in other areas, his word was as good as gold—once spoken, it would be carried out. Amid his myriad responsibilities, he had taken the time to guide Ming Wei. At least for now, Yan Xuerui felt grateful to him.
She tried to relax her body. He had always been driven by desire, and after days apart, whatever Gu Yan wanted to do now, she would serve him well and ensure his satisfaction.
Gu Yan lifted his palm, gently brushing away the loose hairs on the forehead of the person in his arms. Yan Xuerui shrank back slightly, her dark lashes trembling faintly as she closed her eyes, like a lamb to slaughter.
She was being so obedient today, yet Gu Yan suddenly paused.
She was trembling again.
As the de facto foremost noble house, the Marquis of Jingyuan's status relied not only on the Second Master of the Gu family, who commanded substantial forces, but also on the fear many held for Gu Yan himself. Having lost his father at a young age, the old marquis left him not only a substantial inheritance but also a widowed mother, two younger brothers, and a crowd of covetous relatives.
“Coincidentally,” all those who had schemed to seize the family wealth died in the Wu King Rebellion—civil officials dying while voicing objections, military officers falling in battle—leaving no one able to find fault with Gu Yan. The bones and blood of his relatives paved his way to power. Gu Yan and his brother Gu Yuan, one strategizing from behind the scenes, the other excelling in combat, gradually rose to prominence.
After the rebellion, the emperor gradually took back military authority from the regional princes, bringing peace to the realm. As military influence waned, the court became dominated by civil officials. Gu Yan, leveraging his ceremonial post as Crown Prince Senior Tutor, gained the crown prince’s trust, built networks, nurtured supporters, and with Gu Yuan guarding the northwest, the crown prince now found himself relying on Gu Yan instead.
Having been on the battlefield and carved a path through the treacherous court, Gu Yan had witnessed countless struggles and intrigues over the years. How could he not discern Yan Xuerui’s sincerity or pretense?
He had always understood one principle: you cannot have your cake and eat it too. Wanting everything often meant ending up with nothing.
Since he had chosen to use ruthless methods from the start, he was prepared for her fear and apprehension. Only a tamed bird would never think of escaping its master’s grasp.
Even if all these years she had only pretended to submit, he accepted it completely. If she was willing to play the role of docility and gentleness, he would play along with a performance of tender affection. If pretense lasted a lifetime, how was it different from sincerity?
Gu Yan was content.
His once ironclad principles, however, wavered at times like these—when she leaned against him with genuine reliance, so soft and fragrant, only to suddenly stiffen and tremble, stirring a faint sense of... dissatisfaction within him.
"Marquis?"
After a long silence without any movement, Yan Xuerui’s breathing grew hurried. Anxiously, she opened her eyes only to find Gu Yan rarely so pensive.
Just as she was about to speak, Gu Yan abruptly leaned down, claiming her lips in a sudden, stormy kiss, stifling the sob that was about to escape.
How absurd. With age, he was growing increasingly sentimental.
Gu Yan mocked himself inwardly, his palm firmly covering her slender neck as he untied the delicate ribbon at her collar.
Now she lay beneath him.
She had borne him three children.
He had no regrets.