After reading Nanguo's suicide note, when she saw the last sentence, Mouli wanted to respond urgently, I am saving you, I will save you.However, what followed was surprising.
During his lifetime, Wu Nanguo liked to read books, and read poems written by foreigners to Mo Wuli: "'If you fall in love, my sister said, it's like being struck by lightning.'"
Mouli didn't look sideways, showing no interest at all.
"This was written by Glick, and she has won many awards." After a brief introduction, Nan Guo continued to read, "'That effect is not lightning, but an electric chair.'"
On January 6, the first year of high school, Wu Yaofan spoke to her for the first time in the cram school.They bumped into each other in the hallway, the guy was talking to a friend, his feet sticking out too much.Nanguo passed by, and his eyes touched the person who was talking to him, and his attention was drawn to him helplessly.She was distracted.
Compared with later years, Yi Siwei, who was still a high school student, was a few centimeters shorter and had one less pierced ear.
Nan Guo knew his name and popularity, and visited their school's post bar, and there was a post titled "Selling Yi Siwei Original Jacket" on the front page.
The reason was that a male classmate stole his coat and sold it online. Some people reprimanded this behavior, and some directly quoted it.
Not in the same school, Nan Guo didn't know how he reacted or what he would think.The first time she met him in the trial class of the cram school, she had already foreseen the end and signed up decisively.Even if study in an institution, don't meet many times, but it's good, it's enough.
Yi Siwei and Wu Yaofan were classmates in elementary school, and they also had mutual friends in junior high school.After leaving the classroom, they met by chance, and they chatted casually.Wu Yaofan asked: "The progress here is very slow, how is your math?"
Although Zhou Ce was able to finish the last two big questions, Yi Siwei said, "I don't understand at all, are you waiting for someone?"
"Wait for Lan Yiruo, she didn't come a few times, it's a waste of money. Do you remember her?"
"Hmm. Are you still talking?"
"It's been five years, do you believe it? I find it incredible, hahaha."
Wu Nanguo passed by the corridor, his gaze was like a dragonfly, and it landed steadily on Yi Siwei's face.She didn't see Wu Yaofan's feet, so she tripped.
The girl fell to the ground, Wu Yaofan bent down to help her.Behind him, Yi Siwei also looked over, embarrassed and slightly confused, frowning slightly: "Are you all right?"
The floor was cold, Nan Guo stared blankly at Yi Siwei, as if he was in a ring and the referee was counting down the seconds.He also looked at her.Nan Guo was helped up, Wu Yaofan said: "I'm sorry, are you okay?"
eight seconds.
Someone in the corridor said hello.Yi Siwei withdrew his gaze and turned to look elsewhere.
"Well," Nan Guo knew that she was too easy to understand, it was difficult for her to hide her emotions, and sisters with the same father and mother were two extremes.She couldn't hold back her excitement, and smiled brightly at Wu Yaofan, "It's okay."
In the following class, Wu Yaofan came late, chose a seat randomly, and sat next to her by chance.He didn't bring an outline, and Nan Guo took the initiative to lend him something, so they talked.
Objectively speaking, Wu Yaofan has good looks and is outstanding among his peers.But as long as you know Yi Siwei, the gap will only widen infinitely.
Yi Siwei's condition is the level of an artist, a superiority that can be noticed before entering university.Standing in the crowd, it will only stand out more.If you get too close to him, you will really get nervous, and it is not an exaggeration to have your heart beat faster and your legs feel weak.Even if you don't believe it, it's understandable. If you haven't seen a real handsome guy, you won't understand this feeling.
Nan Guo likes to read, occasionally watches cartoons, and does not follow stars.She likes Yi Siwei as a star, although she doesn't have a stage or movies and TV shows, but she can watch them whenever she wants.He is her "push", she collects his information and supports him in life.
She wrote a lot about him in her trumpet.
"The more you dig, the more you talk about it, isn't it? Yi Siwei is a treasure. With such a face, it stands to reason that he has been praised since he was a child, and his personality should not be much better. How could there be such a perfect person?"People? I don’t think I can find any faults in him.”
"I also want to have a brain like Yi Siwei. For me, it is very difficult to concentrate in class. There is no school for evening self-study, shouldn't I go to play after school? He also tutors every day, which is too good."
"I like you today too."
"My colleagues in the field told me that he also scored perfect in sports and was poached by the provincial team. Although I can guess it by looking at his figure, but, baby, are you a real person? My colleagues said that no one in their school confessed to him, and they didn't want toRejected. Yes, after all, everyone is watching."
"I went to a convenience store with Wu Yaofan to eat Malatang. He said that Yi Siwei lived alone, and sometimes went to his grandparents' house. His parents divorced a long time ago. What kind of beauty is this? But my parents are not so goodWhere are you going... for not turning into scum in adversity, thank you grandpa, thank you grandma!"
"I like you today too."
"Pain expands love, and I like you today."
One semester of Chinese class, Wu Nanguo and Yi Siwei are in the same class.She didn't know why he took an extra class on a whim, and she was unprepared, holding her breath when he walked into the classroom.She sat very far in front, the seat next to her was empty.Yi Siwei didn't want to go back, so he just sat next to her.
He said, "Is anyone here?"
Wu Nanguo raised his hands to cover his face, and shook his head without saying a word.
By then, school had become miserable for her.Nan Guo felt that he was too stupid. At first, he really thought that Wu Yaofan could be friends.She hates Lan Yiruo, and she also hates Wu Yaofan.Just thinking about them, when I wake up in the morning, my body is as stiff as a corpse, and I can't even get out of bed.
But she started seeing Yi Siwei in the cram school.
Nan Guo excerpted a sentence from "The Love of Aliens": "'What is your dream? What is the thing you most want to do? There is no dream at all.
"Watching the sunrise and sunset, except for these few short minutes, the rest of the day, he didn't think about it at all. He didn't have to eat, and he didn't have to do anything. It slept, like a legendary creature, and woke up just to seeSun rises and sets, then sleeps again, repeating itself.' ”
She has no dreams at all, she just wants to watch the sunrise and sunset, except for this short moment, she doesn't want to think about other times at all.Yi Siwei is her sunrise and sunset.
Nan Guo thinks that it is absolutely impossible for Yi Siwei to like her.He is a person who is destined to be happy, to live a smooth life, to be loved by others, to find a tender, kind, and beautiful partner, and to get a happy ending like a fairy tale.
Yi Siwei didn't speak in class, but was really studying.During recess, he didn't play much with the people around him, and just looked at his phone silently.Nan Guo didn't dare to speak, and took out his mobile phone.There is a plush bear hanging on his bag. Once, he put the bag on the table, Nan Guo stared at it quietly, and he discovered it.
Yi Siwei smiled and explained, "My little sister gave it to me."
Nan Guo was too nervous, and didn't know what he was talking about: "It feels good to touch."
He didn't speak, she thought the topic was over.After waiting for a while, Yi Siwei pushed her elbow, Wu Nanguo turned around, and he handed her the little bear pendant.
Nan Guo was startled, took it, and held it in his hand.How she returned it to him in the end, she forgot all about it.My mind went blank, just remembered that the stuffed bear felt really good.
Then they talk, say hello when they come to class, and when they talk about homework, they chat very little, only once or twice.
She summoned up the courage to ask him: "Do you usually sleep well?"
Yi Siwei was confused: "Huh?"
"Every time after class, you can fall asleep right away."
He rubbed his eyes and said, "I watched the video for too long at night."
"What video?"
"Skiing. Have you ever skied?" Yi Siwei is a good person, he rarely speaks to people, but he will clearly send a signal that he doesn't hate the other person.Once someone chats with him, as long as he wants to, he is very happy to raise the topic.
"No. Do you like sports?" Nanguo has a reserve of knowledge.
"Fortunately, nothing special." However, obviously, the observation report will be different from my own."I want to be a surgeon," he said.
What does this have to do with sports?
"Surgeons are physically demanding."
Nan Guo's eyes lit up: "Do you want to be a doctor?"
"so hard."
Is this lack of confidence?Or is it purely sensitive, so you like to be vague?
Nan Guo liked him very much: "The doctor is good, well-organized, and easy to find a partner... But you don't lack girlfriends, hahaha." After she realized that she had said the wrong thing, she was a little embarrassed.
Yi Siwei was very calm and said, "No, I'm still my mother."
Another dry laugh: "Hahaha, but there is no shortage. Do you want to concentrate on studying?"
"How do you know?" Is he a fool?Nan Guo paid close attention to him, but she didn't want to be found out, and Yi Siwei didn't even notice that she slipped her tongue like this, "Not exactly."
Nan Guo never dreamed that one day he would talk about such a private matter with his self-promotion: "Are you very demanding?"
"No, as long as there is love."
"That's all up to you. After all, there are many people who like you."
"They just like me a little bit, right? That's not love. I'm very good at judging people," Yi Siwei said, "Whether I like it or not is important, but I'm very selfish, and it's also important that the other party loves me."
Of course, she will not record the specific events and conversations one by one.But on this day, Nan Guo thought about it many times in his heart.
When she was in a bad mood, she posted on her trumpet: "Wanting to be Yi Siwei's girlfriend is more natural than breathing. When I think that you will get the love you want, and live a happy life with someone, I hateYou hate it like hell. Your healing smile turns like an ice pick."
When she was in a good mood, she wrote on the trumpet: "I can't count how many nights of illness, Yi Siwei comforted me from the extreme pain. So I also hope you are loved, stay away from nightmares and abyss, don'tHaunted by those evil demons, find someone who will treat you as gently as you wish."
At the end of the class, Nan Guo gave Yi Siwei a golden necklace.Yi Siwei accepted it, and said "thank you" to her with a smile.He went out between classes and handed her an envelope when he came back.Nan Guo opened it after bringing it home, and found that it was a few thin banknotes, which were almost the price of the necklace.
Then there is no more.
Nanguo often fantasizes about Yi Siwei.When the body was unable to move on the bed, she fantasized that Yi Siwei was by her side and sang to her.When she was alone at school, she imagined that Yi Siwei would study and eat with him.She fantasizes that he understands her, supports her, and is good for her unconditionally.
This account was created four years ago, but it was hardly posted in the first year. It was not until Nanguo's old illness relapsed that the frequency of use increased sharply.It took Mouli two full days to finish the book, and then read it several times.During this period, she still didn't cry, her eyes were dry, and her chest was like a dry well.
Mouli doesn't like the pathological Southland, and hates browsing the Southland to feel sorry for herself. However, some content mixed during the period makes her most unhappy.
She knew who Yi Siwei was and had heard of the name before.Although I forgot how to write it, the surname must be "easy" anyway.
She also knew that Yi Siwei knew Wu Yaofan and Lan Yiruo, and also knew Jiang Qi, and even some dubious adults knew him.
Mouli's hands trembled uncontrollably. She picked up her mobile phone, and when she was dialing, the phone kept slipping down and hit the ground.Is it because of hypoglycemia?Or was she just too angry?But it's strange, why is she so angry?I really want to go to hell, go to hell, grab Nan Guo by the hair, and scold her as an "ugly monster".
She actually left her alone to die!
Since birth, Moulie hadn't experienced hopelessness, helplessness, or vulnerability, so she didn't know what she was going through and couldn't name her feelings.She didn't understand the pain, so she just called the tutoring institution.
No matter how vicious her face is, she can still squeeze out a sweet and passionate voice.
The person on the other end of the phone would not have guessed her expression: "There is such a student, he is in the same grade as Wu Nanguo. Which university does he go to now? We don't know very well. After all, this year, we are taking the sophomore and junior high school students.He's a senior high school student. Candidates are still going back to school... May I ask what happened? Yi Siwei is a very good kid."
fraud!
"Nothing, just want to know."
"He is very popular, and we all like him."
idiot!Must be cheated!Doesn't she know such a lie?
She replied in a sweet voice: "Really? That's good."
"We've also heard about...the incident in the southern country. My condolences have changed. That child...is also our shortcoming. If only we cared more about her. I heard that Yucai had a child who bullied her and jumped with guilt.Downstairs, isn't it? What a tragedy."
Mouli sat in the bedroom, holding her mobile phone, her eyes fixed on the photos of the two children.The surroundings suddenly became very quiet, so quiet that it shrank.
"Go to hell for the bad guys, and just shut up for ordinary people. What does it have to do with you? Don't make high-level comments here." She spoke quickly, and hung up the phone abruptly after she finished speaking.
Mouli broke down, maybe for the first time, maybe again.She won't admit it, but that's how it looks to others.
It was another long season without eating or sleeping, and Mouli could not tolerate the warm climate.
She didn't really look for Yi Siwei, she didn't have the strength, but she was still reasonable.She was too thin to replenish her strength, but she had to live.Gradually began to think, is it really necessary to live?
Rather than saying that uncle and aunt are tolerant, it is better to say that they are laissez-faire.The elders didn't even know that Nan Guo was not buried.Mouli braces for admission to take freshmen photos.On the student ID card, her appearance was not good enough to scare her.Mouli doesn't have to participate in the military training for freshmen, she only needs to spend her days in the infirmary.
She saw Yi Siwei on the list of classmates.
This is fate.Mouli stood at the door of the classroom, and someone called his name.He raised his head, dyed flaxen hair, metal earrings shining on both sides of his cheeks, but not more eye-catching than that face.Yi Siwei's face was expressionless, like the surface of water stirring constantly with indifference and tenderness.
Others use the excuse that they like hair color and want to take a picture of it for reference when they go to the barber shop.He smiled, lowered his head meekly, and let them take pictures.
Mouli looked at him from a distance, as if she had fallen into a ferocious hell, the emptiness was unbearable, the only way to go was destruction, she was unwilling to die alone like this.From then on, life and love are no longer under control.
It turned out that he grew up like this.
It turns out that it is this "thinking" and this "violation".
There are many emotions that Mouli doesn't understand, but she does, what it feels like to be jealous, angry, and disgusted.
I know you are a mean person.You can fool others but not me.I saw through your disgusting tricks from the first moment I saw you.What kind of evil you will do, I know no better.
Mouli hates Yi Siwei.
So she has the ability to live again.
The author has something to say:
Long time no see, hero