Chapter 61 Red Moon
After a brief commotion, the VIP ward fell silent.
Xu Lanjun gently opened the door to the hospital room. The person lying on the bed turned his head at the sound.
Thinking he was asleep, she approached only to find Zhou Lin still had his eyes open.
Xu Lanjun: "You’re still awake?"
"What are you doing here?"
He turned his face further away, his voice so muted it was almost inaudible.
Under the dim glow of the bedside lamp, Zhou Lin’s fine features cast deep shadows, while the moonlight from outside the window left a glistening trace at the corner of his eyes.
Xu Lanjun was momentarily stunned, "Ah Lin......"
She hadn’t known Zhou Lin for long, but whether from what she’d seen or heard, he had always been the type of playboy who partied wildly and lived recklessly. She didn’t know much about his relationship with Wen Bairan, only feeling somewhat surprised when she first heard they had been in a relationship for eight years.
In her impression, the more arrogant someone was, the less likely they were to be capable of such long-term devotion.
But he seemed different from the others.
Everyone said his relationship with Wen Bairan was stable, but if it was so stable... why hadn’t they married after eight years?
Xu Lanjun came from a highly educated family and didn’t know much about the internal rules of business families like his, but the idea of "marrying within one’s social class" applied everywhere.
Given Zhou Lin’s background, he understood this better than anyone.
Since he understood, why was he still so heartbroken?
He was hooked up to tubes, and he couldn’t change his lying position. Hearing her pull up a chair by the bed and sit down, he turned his face away again, pressing so hard into the pillow it seemed he wished to disappear into it.
Looking at his fragile yet stubborn profile, Xu Lanjun unconsciously softened her voice, "She’s already left."
Zhou Lin said, "I know."
He had watched her leave.
When she left, his chest hurt terribly.
Even though he had already been given painkillers, the pain persisted, intense and sharp. It hadn't let up.
Being injured wasn’t all bad for him—at least it allowed him to see the same worried, caring look in Wen Bairan’s eyes as before. No one understood her soft heart and her concerns better than he did. Over their many years together, worrying about him had almost become her instinct.
It was precisely because of this that he began to harbor the illusion that maybe they could start over.
But when he begged her, she only looked at him in silence.
The wound inside him tore and healed repeatedly during the long wait.
Oddly, he could already sense what she was about to say from the flicker in her eyes.
It was the answer he least wanted to hear, yet one he had heard many times before.
His heart ached.
It ached so much he couldn’t stop her from speaking.
Ah Lin.
She sighed his name, as if she too didn’t want to see the hope in his eyes completely vanish. She had always been the one who couldn’t bear to see him sad, but now it was already winter.
The person who had walked into her world during a summer rainstorm had gradually grown cold over the past eight years.
After hesitating for a long time, she finally said to him, "I know you mean well, and I’m glad you’ve finally grown up. But Ah Lin, after all, the one who hurt me the most was still you."
Even without Song Xu, even without anyone else.
To this day,
He was still the only one who had ever hurt her.
He taught her what love was, and he also taught her that first loves never end well.
She had given him the purest part of herself, and he had watched as that purity gradually became complicated and broken.
He didn’t stop it.
Just like he couldn’t stop her from turning and leaving after she spoke her last words.
What could he do?
The heating in the hospital room had shut off.
The humidifier by the bed no longer released scented mist.
The dampness of Shenjiang City was especially noticeable at this moment.
Xu Lanjun watched as the person on the bed curled up, his movements tugging at the monitors and triggering a sharp alarm. He seemed unaware, or perhaps in too much pain, his huddled figure resembling a lost child, so helpless it was impossible not to feel compassion for him.
She couldn’t help but stand up, bending over to gently pat his shoulder in comfort: "Sleep, once you fall asleep, the pain will stop."
……
//
Lingang Bay.
Wen Bairan opened the second-floor wardrobe again.
In the empty compartment, there had once been a dazzling dress, its silver shimmer as romantic as the Milky Way.
Now, a small white Pegasus lay there.
She picked it up, weighing it in her palm.
It was almost weightless.
But when placed there, it was impossible to ignore.
Song Xu’s slightly bewildered voice echoed in her ears.
‘I think I’ve really fallen in love with you.’
What exactly is love?
For now, he understood it as fondness mixed with possessiveness.
But if that were the case, he didn’t feel the urge to win back her gaze.
His mind was a mess.
Not the usual kind of complexity or confusion.
But a deep, bewildering confusion.
‘Can you understand how disappointed I am right now?’
‘I don’t understand.’
‘Why is it that seeing you look at Zhou Lin with that expression makes it hard to breathe?’
‘Why is that?’
He asked her this, completely lost.
And yet, she seemed to genuinely understand what he was going through.
Though both he and Zhou Lin were at the top of their game, Zhou Lin had a whole network of people supporting him. Song Xu did not. He was a lone wolf, the most solitary among hunters.
He never relied on others, because he had more than enough confidence and skill to handle all unknowns. He knew deeply that his mission was to bear burdens, not share them. He didn’t have a fallback like Zhou Lin, who could retreat at any time. Before him stretched nothing but an endless climb upward.
Someone accustomed to going it alone never asks whether those who join the battle midway will stay. He seemed to be calling all the shots, but in reality, in every relationship, he was always just along for the ride—he couldn't control if they stayed or left.
For the first time in a relationship, he was actively trying so hard to hold onto something, yet Wen Bairan’s gaze wasn't looking his way.
His pride and self-respect wouldn’t allow him to beg for attention like Zhou Lin.
Walking away seemed like his only option.
But he didn’t leave.
He waited.
Until Wen Bairan actually came.
Only then did he suddenly understand that love wasn't something one person could do alone.
Song Xu frowned, his expression still cold and detached, yet she clearly saw the cracks in his eyes.
That look in his eyes—
It was all too familiar.
He asked, was loving someone really supposed to feel this bad?
Even though Wen Bairan was shocked to find she could read him so easily, she still couldn’t answer that question.
Because she didn’t understand either.
Love is too difficult.
A hundred times more complicated than sex.
Just hormones flying around aren’t enough to express it.
And everything that touches the heart is so agonizing and confusing.
Wen Bairan didn’t know what to think.
What she felt for Song Xu was probably love, too.
But how to put it?
This love seemed not yet free from the realm of sex,
seemingly still lingering outside the gates of the heart.
After loving Zhou Lin, she had firmly shut that door in her heart, even adding two more locks for good measure. But tonight, Song Xu’s defeat slammed into her, raw and violent, and she faintly heard the sound of the locks shattering.
It scared her a little.
It was only the beginning of winter, yet the increasingly long nights were already unbearably cold.
……
//
Executive lounge at the W Hotel.
Xiang Sun felt like this night would never end.
First, there was the dinner party, then clubbing, and now he had to clean up Song Xu’s mess at the hospital.
......Clean up Song Xu’s mess!
After knowing him for so many years, Xiang Sun never imagined something like this would happen to him—it was completely unheard of.
From the moment he received the call about them fighting to rushing to the hospital, Xiang Sun had assumed Song Xu had wiped the floor with Zhou Lin. But when he saw the injuries on Song Xu’s face, he was so shocked his eyes nearly bugged out of his head.
In the hospital, Song Xu leaned sullenly against the corridor wall, his collar undone, his wristwatch missing, a dried streak of blood by his mouth adding a stark contrast to his icy expression, pushing his air of decadent exhaustion to a startling level.
On the way there, Xu Lanjun had said she wasn’t particularly interested in Song Xu, but the moment she saw him, without even waiting for Xiang Sun to ask why the fight had started, she firmly declared there must be a good reason.
Xiang Sun: ......
As the door to the imaging room opened, Wen Bairan watched as Zhou Lin was wheeled out. Song Xu glanced sideways, frowning at their clasped hands by the bedside.
Xiang Sun didn’t notice the look in his eyes at that moment, busy stepping forward to ask about the situation. Fortunately, Zhou Lin didn’t seem seriously injured; otherwise, if things were pursued further, it would be troublesome. The Zhou family’s status in Shenjiang was equivalent to local royalty. Although P&t’s business scope didn’t overlap with theirs, everyone moved in the business world, and there was no telling when their paths might cross. Offending them would be a bad move.
Strange, though—Song Xu usually valued this above all else. How could he let things escalate to this point?
The doctor asked them to wait outside for the results. The temporary orderly accidentally bumped Zhou Lin’s wound while pushing the bed, making him grimace in pain. Wen Bairan immediately leaned down to comfort him, urging him to hang on a little longer, as he would soon be in his room for medication. Zhou Lin was completely gentle with her, obediently agreeing and falling silent.
These two were so absorbed in each other that if Xiang Sun hadn’t offered to handle the payment, they might have forgotten anyone else was there.
When he turned back with the receipts, Song Xu was already gone.
Xu Lanjun had left with him.
From what he'd seen tonight, Xiang Sun felt she was quite outgoing and might actually get along with Song Xu. He had thought something might happen between them today, but instead, Song Xu had come here alone to drink.
At this hour, there was no one else at the bar counter; the bartender seemed to be serving only the two of them.
The empty glasses in front of Song Xu never stopped coming.
He was still injured, and the alcohol seeped into his wounds, yet he didn’t even flinch.
Xiang Sun watched him down one glass after another, as if he had returned to his usual calm and composure, but for some reason, he felt a bit uneasy.
He had once thought no one in the world was more suited to monastic life than Song Xu—his emotional stability was practically monk-like.
What’s going on with you today?
After holding back for a while, Xiang Sun couldn't help but ask him what was wrong. Everything felt off since dinner. Is this really because of Wen Bairan?
He didn't believe it.
Back then, he had dated Zhu Qiwei for three years, but when he found out she was getting married, he just coldly threw her things away. He’d never seen Song Xu get into a fight before.
What makes Wen Bairan so special?
They've only known each other for a few months.
Song Xu was already a bit drunk, his eyes still alert, his wrist arched like a mountain peak as he held the glass. He said, the meaning of life isn't measured by its length.
Xiang Sun understood—he was saying his feelings for Wen Bairan were deeper than those for Zhu Qiwei.
But why?
In terms of looks and temperament, Wen Bairan wasn’t bad, but she wasn’t even a third of what Zhu Qiwei was. And when it came to emotion and devotion, Zhu Qiwei had given him three years without a single complaint.
Three whole years revolving entirely around him.
Xiang Sun shook his head: "Old Song, no offense, but anyone with eyes can see that what Zhu Qiwei felt for you was real love. Wen Bairan? Her?"
He didn’t get it. What had she even done? Slept with him?
Sex can mess with your head.
But it shouldn’t lead to such a misunderstanding.
Especially for someone like Song Xu.
He was the least likely person to become obsessed with anything.
What was so special about Wen Bairan?
Song Xu stayed silent.
He stared at the cracked patterns in the ice ball in his glass, the slight redness at the corners of his eyes hinting at something fierce.
What was so special about her.
That was one of the questions he’d been pondering tonight.
Everything Xiang Sun said made sense. Aside from Zhu Qiwei, among the women he’d met, there were more than just one or two who were prettier, more charming, more interesting, or more alive than Wen Bairan.
What was it about Wen Bairan that made him willing to feel so miserable?
He’d thought about it for a long time.
He drew a blank.
Maybe he really was drunk; his temples throbbed painfully. He tried to steer his thoughts away, but her face popped into his head again.
‘Song Xu, have you really fallen in love with me?’
......
She held his face, her tone gentle, her eyes filled with visible worry and concern, like it hurt her to see him that way.
But just then,
it wasn’t like how she looked at Zhou Lin.
Song Xu still remembered right after they broke up—she was in his bed, but her heart wasn’t in it.
A few times he deliberately made her cry, but she just gritted her teeth and endured it without a sound.
Afterward, she’d go to the bathroom and stare into the mirror, her eyes empty, lost in thought.
There seemed to be heartache, unwillingness to let go,
confusion and fear,
loneliness and solitude clinging to her like a shadow.
These feelings of hers were complex, but in the end, none of them were because of him.
His initial judgment of Zhou Lin had been completely right.
Childish.
Reckless.
Unaccomplished and full of himself.
People like that were masters at taking things for granted.
Time, money, lovers.
They were good at losing everything.
But even though Wen Bairan wouldn’t even pick up his calls now, if she heard even the slightest criticism of Zhou Lin—even if Song Xu himself hadn’t realized he meant it that way—she’d become as sensitive as a lion protecting its cub.
That rainy night when the tension was so thick you could cut it.
It was the first time she truly wanted to conquer him.
Not because she loved him.
But because she wouldn’t allow him to badmouth another man she had once loved, and perhaps still loved.
He didn’t actually mind being used.
But Song Xu had to admit he had a competitive streak and was being petty.
That toxic male pride, the desire to win, or whatever else it was.
In short, he couldn’t allow her to think of someone else while she was sleeping with him.
But later.
It seemed what he wanted was more than that.
After turning it over in his head.
Why did he love her?
It seemed precisely because she didn’t love him.
Xiang Sun downed his third drink of the night and told the server grandly to open a new bottle of whiskey. Put it all on Song Xu’s tab.
After a long silence, the man beside him suddenly asked, "Do you think I can afford to lose?"
He had been silent for too long. XiangSun had been drinking alone and was already a bit drunk, so he gave him a bleary look and asked, "Lose? Have you ever lost?"
SongXu threw his head back, letting half a glass of cold liquor slide down his throat.
With a downward flick of his wrist, the crystal glass hit the floor.
He smiled faintly and said, "That's right."
/
Lingangwan.
The night that refused to let anyone sleep was finally coming to an end.
WenBairan, chilled to the bone, wrapped herself tightly in the blanket and closed her eyes, hoping to rest for a moment until her phone rang.
She answered it.
SongXu's voice, husky from alcohol, was so raspy it made her mouth go dry.
He asked first, "Are you asleep?"
WenBairan swallowed against the dryness in her throat and said, "No."
He said, "Good, then listen up."
She replied, "Mm, I'm listening."
Silence.
It felt like a long time had passed.
WenBairan could've sworn dawn was approaching.
In her half-asleep state, she seemed to see a crimson moon hanging over the ocean.
The wind tore through the fog.
Revealing the vast expanse of the ocean.
SongXu's gravelly voice came through the phone.
"WenBairan."
She murmured drowsily, "Mm?"
If love were a gamble.
Then I can handle losing.
But,
I will not lose, he said.